


This.. isn’t right

by Ab0019



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-11
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-01-30 03:55:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12645588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ab0019/pseuds/Ab0019
Summary: “Sometimes I wish I could meet all the Idiots that fucked up their lives as much as I did, but then I remember I’m probably the only one” Jeremy finally blurt out as the SQUIP watched on‘Everyone?’“Everyone.”~Ok, so by the whole “I wish I could meet the people who fucked up their lives as much as I did” thing, Jeremy didn’t mean by partnering up with them on a potentially life threatening task.





	1. Chapter 1

‘Jeremy, you’ve been extremely quite lately.. are you ok?’

Jeremy just stared on as the Squip passed across the room, glitching in and out of reality 

“I don’t know, to be honest. My mom left me so many years ago and I can’t help but feel that it’s so how my fault” 

‘Look kid, sometimes life happens like that. As something that has had data reports of kids getting SQUIPs to deal with a divorce, I can understand that it can be hard for you’ 

“Yes, But-“ 

The Squip Quickly shut the boy out, taking the spotlight for himself 

‘Jeremy, you need to understand your mother has been through similar things to you. If you’d like a can arrange some past memory’s?’ 

The boy played with hem of his shirt 

His mother left him when he was 4, so he remembered very little 

And his father rarely spoke of her, so he was No help. 

But he wanted to see her, not remember. 

Wheater that meant meeting her while being constrained in a hospital bunker after being slashed in the stomach by god knows what.. 

He wanted to meet her. 

No, scratch that. He wanted to meet everyone who fucked up as bad as he did 

If that’s even possible 

“My mom.. Is she kind?” 

The Squip fell silent as it danced across the room, and it wasn’t until after a few seconds that it spoke 

‘I’d like to think. She’s has secrets that have driven people to SUICIDE after all’ 

What was that supposed to mean? 

“What? Worse then me? Impossible! I live with you and you’ve sent Rich to burn down a house, Turned my school into a hive mind, and you’ve sent me through electoral shock therapy and made me think I’m a peice of shit for god knows how long!” 

As Jeremy let the lips passed his lips, the SQUIPs unsettling expression turned to a horrific smirk 

‘Yes, Yes, But what about the others who’ve fucked up? You obviously want to meet them” 

Right.. he can read his thoughts 

“Oh, Sure! What could they do? This is 2017, people are more interested on a children’s TV show turned to a musical and The founding fathers then the story of a kid who’s been on probation for the last 3 years for selling weed to an undercover officer” 

‘Yeah, Yeah, But What if you could just.. meet them? And they wouldn’t think you’re stupid.. they’d think your cool! Life saving!’ 

Jeremy snapped to his feet, startling glitchy figure. 

“There is no way in hell im going to let you hurt them, okay?” 

‘Yeah, But Jeremy.. don’t you ever wish?’ 

Jeremy sighed.. 

He did sometimes wish and wonder what it would be like 

“Sometimes.. I wish I could meet the ones who’ve fucked up there lives as much as I did..” 

He paused 

“But the. I remember that I’m probably the only one” 

The Squip scoffed in dismay. 

‘I can name at least 2, Jeremy. Do you really want to test me?’ 

“Test you? I’d say you can’t do shit, but I don’t want to electrocute me” 

‘Smart choices, Heere.’ 

... 

‘You know what, I won’t electrocute you.. I won’t even bother you. I’ll just leave. Gone. Zip. Over.’ 

“Oh?” Jeremy asked in a sarcastic tone 

‘Yeah.. But there’s a catch’ 

“Of course..” Actually.. that wouldn’t be to bad.. 

“Fine” 

Jeremy watched as the “man” reached out a hand, asking for final approval 

‘Do we have a deal’ 

“As long as no one but we gets hurt” 

Sure, Jeremy should have waited to hear the SQUIPs snarky comment before plunging into total darkness, but he could always ask later. 

‘No promises’


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof Mama Who bore me is amazing

I don’t remember when I started to have this dream.

The obvious answer would be after leaving my son, but It feels older. 

Almost like I knew that I would have to leave him with nothing more than a quick hug. 

And that’s not ever the part that gets me. 

It’s Him, watching over my sons crying face from afar, his coat stained with blood from more Than his own. 

“When will you be back, Mama?”

When will I be back? 

Will It Be in a few months? 

Years? 

Ever? 

And even if I do see him again, will he recognize me? 

Will I recognize him?

So many questions rush trough my head.. 

It’s all to much. 

And worst part is that every time I have the dream again, it grows longer and changes in brutal ways I never knew rested deep in what might as well be a prison. 

Sometimes he tells me of all I’ve done, how he’s a mistake and that he’s unwanted 

But sometimes It’s worse. 

He’ll tell me of the dark man watching him as he sleeps, telling him things that he must never speak of, or he’ll hurt mommy and take her away 

How he threatens to murder her like he did to everyone else he loved 

Or not even that, he’ll leave her an empty shell to scared to have an opinion or any control.. 

All things a young child should not have to think about. 

But each time it all ends the same. 

The kid always leans in for a hug, pushing back my silver-streaked hair to wisper somthing. 

But I never find out. 

No, my demons always get to him first.. 

Snatching him away for my grip 

I try to hold on tighter each time, but by the time my grip gives way.. 

I’m back in my room. 

Back into an inky blankness that no one can brighten

And it doesn’t even matter the time. 

3:00 am.. 

6:42 am.. 

1:37 pm.. 

My makeshift curtain open or closed.. 

It doesn’t matter if the darkness is visible or not 

I.Feel.It. 

I live alone, I haven’t brought myself to find anyone new. 

Though sometimes I prefer I had someone I had someone, I know they’d leave me. 

I hate to admit it, but my Ex has left me with more problems than I can actually count for. 

Anxiety 

Abuse 

And light depression among other things 

Not to mention my lack of sanity 

But that does come in handy sometimes.. 

And in Sometimes I mean standing in front of my crying child I’m about to abandon 

But that’s not the part that my sanity comes in play. 

it’s what lays Beyond him. 

past my disgusting legacy, past all I’ve let die, past the ones I’ve let down 

But the one I let myself love

He’s always saying something 

Weather it’s how I should go avoid this person or how I shouldn’t buy this object 

He always Warning me on what not to do. 

And if were being honest here, I’ve started to count on to tell me what to do 

But tonight is different. 

I have the dream, as usual.. 

But he looks.. scared 

Almost like something isn’t right 

Something isn’t going to be normal when I wake up 

He’s whispering something, but it’s getting harder to hear 

My son cry’s louder and louder but I don’t care. 

I need to know what HE’S saying. 

I try to make out letter by letter, his lips harder to read by each passing second 

I feel myself start to panic as my son questions my return 

I don’t have time, I running out of time 

It gets harder and harder to breath as my son reaches in for a hug 

I try to push is hair out of my vision as he presses his soft cheek against mine 

No.No.No.No. 

I quickly push him away, Cringing as he falls to the floor 

I expect him to burst into harder tears, but it’s different 

No,He looks me dead in the eye and says clearer than I’ve ever seen 

‘Keep with the system and all will be fine’ 

Blackness. 

I sit up as fast as possible in bed 

Or I would Of if my hands weren’t chained to something at my bedside 

Wait. 

“What the hell?” I hear myself whisper 

‘Look Who finally decided to wake up. That’s strike 1, now I want you downstairs in 5 minuets’


	3. Chapter 3

I feel myself start to panic as the strange people constrain my arms and legs to some sort of table

The light above me is far to bright and I fear only the worst of what may happen 

But they promise no harm, a warm home and plenty food, 

That is if I complete the tasks they expect from me. 

Yelling does no good, or course. 

Though It brings little hope for death 

Bad thought to have, I know, but I’ve been injected with a mystery green substance at least 4 times no, drifting off to sleep soon after. 

And if any on my moms medical papers are correctly dated, the human body can only withstand so much tranquilizer before falling into a coma 

Then again, Tranquilizer isn’t green (or any that I’ve seen, which is few, because my mother worked with babies) and doesn’t smell of a sugary substance 

But if we’re getting down to the small details, these aren’t doctors 

No, They seem more like hallucinations due to the slightest over-dose of anxiety medication 

There body’s flashing in and out of reality with each passing minute 

And there wearing nothing for protection, not even gloves 

But I can’t be fake.. 

Everything feels so.. real. 

There tightening arms pressing against mine to keep me from escaping.. 

The many monitors beeping to make sure I was still breathing 

And even the smells. 

Not one a real hospital would have, but instead one of an.. art gallery? 

No, That can’t be it. 

What were the side effects of that substance? 

I feel myself try to ask, but am interrupted by one of the nurses pushing something against my eyes, blocking my vision. 

‘He’s supposedly the problematic one.. Anxiety, self-conscious.. his parents are probably worried sick about him’ 

‘Why do you care? We don’t see him after this. He’s thrown into whatever they may want him and the other 2 for. Besides, you felt bad about constraining Sawyer and she’s a literal murderer’ 

‘I don’t know.. maybe I’m still a little meh about capturing these kids. I mean look at this one! He’s wearing a cast’ 

‘Look, just inject him. We’re already behind schedule and we still need to drag him to the dorm’ 

I hear the one that actually seem to care sigh, pressing something into my already sore arm with a breath 

‘Just make sure they don’t hurt him to much, I Don’t want him to suffer to much’ 

‘Just remember what we’re working for, Br-‘ 

Everything blacked out before The person could finish, probably from whatever they put in me. 

But what did they mean? A murderer? A job? 

And what will this turn me Into?


End file.
